Like any college student in the 21st century I have succumbed to the use of dating apps. I think on paper they are such wonderful constructs for the way a connected world could potentially forge relationships and networks that were previously unimaginable. Of course, greed and shitty people make this idealistic dream the farthest thing from what we interact with in real life.
Let me preface this by saying there are a myriad of ways to use an app like Tinder or Bumble. I think the people most frustrated with such apps are those caught at either end of the spectrum: on the one side, you have those that have no clue what they want and refuse to make any assertions, and on the other, you have those that are certain of what they want, but inadvertently feel their time being wasted away. I found myself frustrated on campus in DC, swiping on the same people, essentially seeing the same results. I suppose the entire premise is equal to that of IRL, you have to kiss a lot frogs before you find a prince.
The vantage point one gains through dating apps to be able to seeing what options exist out in the world is unprecedented. Nonetheless, I think an important piece that we leave out of the dialogue is that there are a lot (like a lot) of frogs. That’s life though, we’re not all meant for each other, contrary to the fantasy that we are simply one swipe away from happily ever after; a fairytale that dating apps continue to perpetuate.
The problem is that dating apps have changed the way we meet people. For young people in particular, those of us that entered the world through the screens of our phones, the challenge of simply “making friends” is becoming a dying art. It was as I found myself in Florence with an open mind to meet new people that I gladly reintroduced myself to the prospect of swiping, as it seemed like a more fathomable task, as opposed to randomly bumping into a stranger under Michelangelo’s David. I was determined to meet someone new, and hopefully learn something new. Traveling simply doesn’t happen in a vacuum, and though I grasp the idea of tourism for the sake of seeing landmarks, I don’t think that is the root of my passion for packing my bags. In fact, I think it is the landmarks that simply guide us to one another, whether we acknowledge that or not.
Long story short, my swiping led me to a date. The prospect of meeting someone for the first time has always been fascinating to me, especially in our society today where you can talk to someone for ages without ever even touching them. Either way, there’s no way of really meeting someone for the first time again, unless we’re talking about reincarnation but that’s definitely a whole nother post on its own. When meeting someone, nervous jitters seem to bubble over inside of me every time, whether its a date or simply a new friend. I must say, I can’t tell if it helps that I am usually running late, and by running I mean I’m more than likely actually running.
Nonetheless, that day I made it, as I always do. It was a busy, yet idyllic afternoon in the city center. I had already fallen in love with Florence thanks to the copious amounts of pizza, pasta, and gelato that we had consumed throughout the week. However, this day in particular seemed special. My date, though it feels more appropriate to call him my friend now, was quite nice, and already asking me my thoughts of the city and how it compared to life in the US, a place he had never been before. I suppose any good date should feel like friends simply catching up, and the words hopefully should seem to flow naturally.
We wondered through the streets onto the other side of the river, as Florence like many great cities is cut in two. We talked about our lives and our futures. Being around the same age, we shared plenty of the same concerns, one being wondering what the hell we were going to do after school. I had no expectations for our meeting, but I’m so happy worries over things I had no control over did not get in the way of me choosing to show up.
So often, I think the thing we are all most scared of is living, which seems ludicrous once you realize that we have to do it either way. Whether you do the crazy, scary things or not, you have to keep existing. Why not at least live a life filled with new experiences and people, if only for the possibility of discovering something new about yourself or the world?
That day in Florence was poetic in every sense of the word. We wound up at the Boboli Gardens, where the sun shone down and the gardens burst to life in vibrant colors around me. If you do find yourself in Florence, I can’t recommend the gardens enough. Tourists have to pay a fee to enter, but the views of the city, and the tranquility that can be found wandering through this green space is more than worth it. Remembering fondly of my time there, it feels like a poem, there was a tangible end; a period at the end of the prose. For someone with more questions and unfinished thoughts than complete sentences, it’s a moment I cherish for its simplicity.
In life, endless circumstances rest outside of our control, but perhaps swiping is one of the few things we can find power in. I say swipe, with caution of course, and see where your travels take you. Remember, it’s always important to keep someone abreast of where you will be and who you will be with, and stay aware of your surroundings. One might venture to say there is also an argument for the potential risk of developing some kind of attachment within these chance encounters. In that case, I beg you to question and think about how sad and limiting such a fear is. Why shut doors in your own face, before they have even opened? More importantly, why should the fear of something so beautiful stop you, especially when we are surrounded by so much unnecessary ugly in life? It is because I chose to swipe that I experienced such a lovely day. I was witness to words that flowed between two souls that very likely will never meet again. What I cherish however is that I know we will both also never forget.