I took a train from Toronto to Ottawa. I sat down next to a young person headed to see a lover they met on Reddit. This would be the second time they would be seeing each other “in real life.” I use quotes there because it feels like the past few years have blurred the lines on what distance actually means. Today, it feels like our virtual selves, through cameras and screens, are just as real as our own limbs and clothing.
Sitting in my aisle seat, I was on a reunion journey of my own; headed to see my friend Canda, someone I had not physically seen since we were both in South Korea in 2019. Thankfully, through our phones, we had managed to keep our friendship alive. As I grow older, I’m realizing this is no small feat, let alone during a pandemic.
It is thanks to technology that I feel real life distance blurring. There once was a time where having a friend in another country meant never seeing or hearing from them, save the off chance either of you happen to be in the same place. Leaving Korea, a piece of me wondered if I would ever see this incredible person again, and if not, what was I to make of our time together? We all meet exciting people when we travel, but rarely do we meet people that seem etched from the same cloth. It is with these people that you seem to develop a new language, or even discover that you often do not need words.
Our connection was a highlight of my time in Seoul. Without a doubt, Canda truly was my rock in a turbulent time. Nowadays, neither of us operates within even a close radius of the lives or headspaces we were in two or so years ago. With so much growth, it can be a concern that the distance between us might be further than a flight and train ride away. Howbeit, as I stood on her balcony, overlooking a snow covered street, laughing about everything and nothing, my worries subsided. I felt a little piece of me returning home.
One evening, we went out ice skating, and I felt like a true Canadian. I have skated before, but never with the level of proficiency that I seemed to muster out on the ice this time. By happenstance, I spent most of December gravitating towards Joni Mitchell’s (a Canadian!) music. Unbeknownst to me she actually just got honored at the Kennedy Honors. One song in particular, River, captured my attention, and now it seems very fitting. Truly, it felt like I was flying, and I’m now itching to get my own pair and take lessons soon. Afterwards, I got to try my first beavertail, basically fried dough and sugar, and it was so good (get it with lemon!).
Throughout my trip, we wandered around Ottawa, and in my own way I think I saw more of the city than I ever could have imagined. I finally got to try a “good” bagel at Kettlemans, which was noticeably better than previous bagels I have consumed. We went on a donut crawl, trying different donut shops around the city. This also happened to be during the coldest day of my stay, accompanied by plenty of snow. Trudging through the slush, with apple cider mimosas warming me up inside, I could not imagine a better place to be. I suppose the beauty of having not grown up in cold places, is the novelty of truly experiencing winter has not totally faded for me.
This trip, I realized Canda and I are connected not only by our adventures and love for bulgogi, but also the Maman, a sculpture by Louise Bourgeois. I first encountered her in Bilbao, Spain. Then, while Canda and I were exploring Tokyo, we ran into her. I arrived in Ottawa, none the wiser about the Maman being within close proximity. Canda suggested we take advantage of a free night at the fine arts museum (Thursday evenings!). Lo and behold, she stands right in front of the museum, across the street from the Notre-Dame church. Perhaps I’m thinking too much into the significance, but I never set out with the intention of finding these sculptures. Yet, like horcruxes, our paths keep crossing. Seeing Maman, her statuesque presence looming overhead, it honestly felt a bit fated. Maybe, there is some mission here, and by the end I’ll see the bigger picture. For now, I am simply in awe of how kind time has been to us, to allow these memories to continue to be forged.
In times like these, I think we have to hold onto and nurture our connections more than ever. To that end, we truly are blessed to have devices that allow the people that mean so much to us, to never be that far away. Looking back, there are so many moving pieces and things that had to fall into place for this trip to become a reality, but I am so glad things worked out. The person from earlier, the one I sat next to on the train, told me how their first time meeting their partner (after talking online for a year) involved them driving from St. Louis all the way to Canada. There is so much trust needed, on so many levels, for someone to go out on a limb like that. In life, and in travel especially, we need trust: trust in ourselves, in the process, etc. Oftentimes, things may not go according to plan, but by following your heart and gut I believe you always end up where you need to be.
