To me, a year from now:
It’s funny because I don’t see you. I will not even attempt to imagine what you look like because I know that has just as much to do with whatever way the wind is blowing. I think of you, and I see your curiosity continuing to broaden, perhaps also becoming more refined.
Do you remember how we felt so lost?
I hope you have surer feet underneath you, but if not, I want you to know there is no pressure to be more than the vessel for life you have been. You know more than me about what it means to listen to one’s body. You are so in tune, that at times you even astound yourself. You have realized how beautifully life unfolds once you stop allowing your mind to restrict you.
People respect you. You see love in the tiniest acts of care. Phone calls with dear friends, strangers stopping to share in moments of joy, and those times you can barely stand yourself but still manage to cherish life, make your world so splendid.
You know balance, and it does not escape you. While I struggle today to find a middle ground, you walk, as if you have this entire time, as someone self-assured. You are not easily swayed to falter or question your own authority. Yes, you have so much to learn, but you also have a toolbelt that is growing in variety. You are not afraid to use these tools or to ask for help from those that have access to things you struggle to reach.
You prioritize yourself, even if it means letting life cast others aside. You have set your own ego adrift, making it easier to discern that others’ actions are not a reflection of your own self-worth. You don’t care about being palatable or digestible because you are not fodder, but a human with thoughts and feelings. You see how I have lost sight of this, but don’t hold it against me because we all want to be loved and desired–sometimes more deeply than we wish to admit.
You write and sing and create. These things feed your soul. You sit so happily, with a spirit full from all of your creations and you enjoy knowing no stone was left unturned.
You’re testing what it means to be scared. I think it means proudly being in spaces you previously would have shrunken yourself down for. It means saying hello to strangers more. It means running after what excites you. It means trying, even if you wonder who even cares. You care.
You, the me a year from now, are so cool and maybe a little more selfish with your time and energy. You deserve to be.